Some events last days has evoked very strong feelings of fear within me.  What will the future bring, will this endevaour succeed?  Am I on the right track?   I talk to Rafael about fear and about a situation when I was right up to the face of fear, but accepted it and could walk away.

I feel that between fear and courage there is thin divide between the choice to hang on and  see yourself through to the other end of the situation.  In going through a situation, fear is actually competing with the courage that wants you to reach the other end. What fear does is trying to confuse the passage through, from the current situation to the other end.

Courage always wants to bring you to the other end.  Fear frustrates, and confuses you, bringing chaos into the process of going through the the choice of decision of reaching through the courageous point.

Let’s say there is a passage to reach a treasure  at  the other end.  Between here and the end there are arrows, rocks, boobytraps and other deadly components.  Courage makes you hang on from one deadly object to another to go through this process of evading, phasing, dodging, to eventually reach the other side of the process.

Fear and courage are guys that are always together, and they are telling you different messages on your path forward coming through to the other end.  And fear is just confusing you going through this passage, or what I call the process to go through all this confusion, hindrance and frustration to stop this process.

One aspect of fear is blame, to blame events and other people for not reaching the better end.  But blame is one of the deadly traps along the way, and one of the easiest to get caught in, because it makes to loose track of your goal.

So we continue to talk about the beast that you see above, the one that is all the yelling, attack of negativity that you don’t want ot face or be associated with.  It’s like that you dare to step into a dark room where the beasts and ghosts are caged.  You have heard their scary murmur from below previously but now suddenly you get the courage to step into the room to finally listen to what they say.  And being there you even find a switch to turn the light on.  You hear their murmur now, but with the words they say.  “You are not good enough” “You can’t do that”.  When you see them, you can experience how silly they look.  You open the cage and let those silly beasts go away to be free.  And then you are free yourself.

Thank you for listening to this morning conversation.

What do you fear, and how do you find courage?

Ok so we start to quarrel already for the title, Rafael and I.

What is this about darkness you want to have in this post?  Why should we have darkness in such a nice trip?  Where does darkness fit in such a nice trip?

Well, I don’t know what to add because we had such a nice trip all the way to Arusha

Hm, and I wanted the Maasai to say something philosophical.

Well Rafael, I will not write about your views about Ghadaffi!

(Trying to provoke him a little)

Perhaps you should write that we can have totally different  views. That is the only moment we can appreciate the different ways we can look at an issue. Having different views is never threatening in Maasai thinking.  When we have challening views, this is when we can have a better understanding of the existing sides of an issue.  This is a natural way of thinking for us Maasais.  Isn’t it so for you people up there?

Me thinking.

Hmmmm.  I guess that is what the Metafari is about, isn’t it.  Good night, time to go to bed.

Todays question: What is darkness for in this moment of enlightment?



Onto the road again!  I will take the bus from Tanga to Segere where my partner Rafael ole Moono will pick me up for the drive to Arusha where we will spend the night and then pickup Elisabet Wollsén and her daughter Olivia.

We will scout the Arusha and beyond to plan a new Metafari. I am looking forward to a 5 hour car journey full of rich conversations and new discoveries.

So where are you going today?

With whom are you going to meet?

And what interesting conversations will you engage in today?

Dear all!  The purpose of todays post is to introduce the new comment system on MetaSpace.  It’s called Livefyre and is supposedly a really cool way of integrating comments with Twitter and Facebook. You can see a conversation about Livefyre here.

I use this blogpost to invite you  to test the comment system by helping me to think around how to make my blog more interesting and purposeful. Please explore the possibilities to connect to Facebook and Twitter and see what happens.  This way you will probably learn something yourself as well.

Here are my questions.  You can answer one, all or create your own questions.  Thank you for participating

  • Reviewing, think of one post that you found especially interesting
  • From what you have read and experienced, what “thin red line” can you see through MetaSpace
  • What could happen that would make you want to participate in creating dialogue
  • How could be interesting enough to find more readers?
  • What would you need to know to answer the questions above?

I talked over Skype with my wife, Ingrid Rudefors.  She is now in New York, while I am in Tanga, Tanzania.  The other night she was at a gala dinner with the Swedish king and queen while I was sleeping on the dhow in Zanzibar.

We are separated by continents but also by six months.  So what brilliant can  I write? It has to be about love and longing.

So love and longing will include my wife.  She is a remarkable person with whom I decided to part from for six months.  But as I told her:

Your book is inspired by Alice in Wonderland.  So you might have to accept to have a husband that goes Alex in Wonderland.

For those who do not know (has it been possible to miss?) she got her first novel published in September this year.  “On the same time, at a roof in Chinatown” (Samtidigt, på ett tak i Chinatown) is about the choices we make in the moment, that changes our lives forever.  The book is about how it is never to late to make new choices.  That dreams can be fulfilled in ways we cannot imagine, and sometimes against our will.

The prudential woman Alice discovers something shocking about her long time husband and escapes out of her house to buy a one way ticket to New York where her only daughter lives in a shabby apartment in Chinatown with her Hungarian boyfriend.  Taken by surprise by the sudden arrival of her mother, Babylonia (the daughter) has to leave Alice (the mother) alone for the night as she has to go to the theater where she works for no pay with the hope of becoming discovered.  Meanwhile Alice gets herself locked out at the fire escape and enters Chinatown by night, and for the next 48 hours she is more or less lost until the end of the book, which ends with no endings, only new beginnings.

Luckily there will be a next book, and that is why Ingrid now is in New York.  To find new inspiration and to write.  When we talked via Skype today the distance between us was 12400 km.  Ponder that there was a road leading to New York from here, and that I had a bicycle and started to ride…   If I bicycled 40 hours a week, it would take 16 weeks to get there for a kiss.

Back to the book.  The husband Göran is the trigger of the events.  Alice finds evidence of a young woman in Berlin and now assumes that their relationship is built on a lie.  But what could be worse than a young mistress in Berlin?  What truth is it that makes Göran go after Alice with the next plane to New York?

What could be worse than the worst imaginable?  I wish you would read the book, and let me know what you think of the secret life of Göran!  So just buy the book, you can do it here – I will tell what I believe is the terrible truth.  Too bad if you don’t read English, you just have to wait for the translation.

So what about love and longing? I wish everyone would have the privelege of reading a book by their husband or wife.  It is like getting keys to a new garden where you can enter and explore new places.  It is a wonderful experience to guess where I am part of the story.  Am I the gloomy boyfriend Gabor, or just some elements….?  Words can also bridge longing.  Reading the book is being together.  Carrying the book in the bag is walking together.

Even though 12400 km separates us.


From TICC to the northern tip of Zanzibar is around 36NM.  Due to southerly winds we used the 60hp outboard engine for the whole journey that took a little over 6 hours.

The Dhow that took us to Zanzibar is owned by Sture, a Swede who is now retired and lives in Tanga.  He has built two boats that are used for Sea Safaris.   Lady Diana 1 was the first boat he built, and this year he built the Lady Diana 2, a 14 metre ocean worthy dhow that can take up to 48 passengers.

This trip to Zanzibar was arranged for a group of Norwegian nurse students who stay at TICC but now took a couple of days off for vacation.

I wanted to meet Siw and Muhammed who are here in Zanzibar now.  Muhammed is from Zanzibar but has lived in Sweden for around 35 years being married to Swedish Siw.  They are now here for the winter where Muhammed needs to take care of a lot of family matters as he is now the elder of his family.

For me this is also time to explore Stone Town and to get a feeling of this island that in a way reminds of Gotland.  It is a sun paradise, with an island to the north and a Stone Town to the west.  Lots of tourism and farming, also handicraft and arts.

There is another connection…    I write this at the rooftop restaurant of Emerson Spice Hotel in Stone Town.  It was co-founded by Helen Hörlin who came to Zanzibar 20 years ago and founded one of the first luxury bungalows on Zanzibar.  Helen and her sister grew up on the island of Gotland and one of my goals here is to meet with her and learn about her story, and hopefully to tell it as well.

Two days with Rafael in Handeni means to have a unique view of his work.  We are talking a lot about the difference between being a boss and being a leader.  Exploring Rafaels view around leadership,  which is very much connected to the Maasai tradition, feels very “modern” and I become motivated to spend more time around this topic.   Last year I captured the story of how Marias ole Pellos became a leader.  Read and enjoy.
Well, now I get to tired to write more, and tomorrow morning we are sailing to Zanzibar.  Just enjoy the images of Rafael entering from different worlds.

It is now early Monday morning.  Yesterday I reached a longtime goal – to visit Rafael’s hometown Handeni.  (Click to see map).  Described with Rafael’s own words, Handeni is

An end to the nice towns of the Tanga region. They call it the last frontier in the Wild West  and is actually an entry point into the Maasai step to the west.  When it is raining the town gets cut of totally

I wanted to go here almost a week ago, but the rain stopped our journey.  From Tanga you first take a bus to Korogwe (100 km) on tarmac roads, and then a daladala the 70 km to handeni on a gravel road where you seldom can drive more than 30km.

I was greeted by Rafael and we went to his office which you can see here.  This is the home of the organization Imosut e Purka which was founded by Rafael in 1997. The office is up a hill, enjoying a cool breeze.

Now this office is not very active with few commnity actitivies.  Presently it serves at administration centre for the Handeni Road works security project, which has engaged our organization now for some time.  We have employed 160 Maasai warriors as watchmen along  the new road past Handeni, providing security for construction material and equipment along a 140 km stretch where there a tarmac road is built by a Chinese company, Sinohydro

When I arrived yesterday there was no Internet in the mobile network and we assumed that it does not work here.  But this morning, the Vodacom network suddenly was online.  We will see if this is just temporary, but it’s really good news.  Below you can read the original Objective Statement of Imosut e Purka

The blog has been quiet for a couple of days.  I will tell more about TICC, Tanga International Competence Center soon, but as it is getting late I just want to share some images from an afternoon that was amazing.

TICC is created by Ruth Nesje and her husband Odd Isaksson in the region of Tanga Tanzania.  Ruth and Odd has lived in Tanzania in different periods for more than 30 years, but nourished a dream to build a centre based on business principles that could be a positive force for the development of the region.  We have previously interviewed Ruth here.

I am here on a volunteer basis and will have TICC as a base for six months where I will work mainly in the following areas

  • Develop the presence of TICC on the web and social media
  • Collaborate to develop and market TICC through Metafari and other journeys aimed at mutual learning and development
  • Projects aimed at Community Development with a special focus on Off Grid issues
  • And other tasks where my competence can be of use…
This week has been flying away fast.  I have been trying to find my way into what is going on in the center.  We have now created a Facebook fan page and a closed group for staff and residents.  I am now also in Swahili training.  And I have been working with a work plan for my stay here.
Todays most memorable activity was the seminar this afternoon for all staff and students here at TICC, where all projects were presented  and where the participants in groups worked with what they had learned so far, and what they say as opportunities for development.  But the big bang of this session was when the Tanzanian students Gloria and Evelyn was invited to perform their new songs from a soon to be released album.  Suddenly the room boiled with energy, and everyone was up dancing.
For the web, we will transfer the current web to a WordPress site, with blogging and more interactivity. But it’s too late to write about that tonight.  Good night from Africa!


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